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By efficiently utilizing the help of finding a part-time job, I strengthened the sense of dependence of the female college student on Xiaohongshu. A few days later, I asked my friend about the situation at her company. My friend said that there were no suitable part-time jobs for the time being, so I told her: "There isn't a particularly suitable one at the moment, but I'll keep an eye out for you. If I get any news, I'll let you know right away." This made her feel like I was putting in effort, but not making it too easy for her, which increased her sense of gratitude and anticipation. She replied to me: "Hmm, thanks for your help. I didn't have high hopes anyway, I just wanted to give it a try." I replied to her: "No worries, take your time, no need to rush. Finding a job is all about fate anyway. You should focus on relaxing and adjusting your state of mind first." She quickly sent back a cute emoji: "Hmm, I'll listen to you." Later, she took the initiative to send me a message, saying she was a bit bored and asked if I had time to go out. I said sure, and we decided to grab a meal and take a walk in the nearby park on the weekend. When we met, she wore a simple T-shirt and shorts, looking very refreshing. I held her hand as we strolled in the park, and she mentioned her struggles with finding a part-time job, feeling a bit down: "Actually, I don't know what I'm suitable for. Sometimes I feel quite lost." I didn't rush to give her advice, but instead gently put my arm around her shoulders and said: "Many people feel this way at our age. I used to feel the same way. But then I realized that I didn't need to rush to find answers. Just focus on doing things well, and opportunities will come naturally." She leaned on my shoulder and whispered: "Talking to you always makes me feel at ease..." We strolled around for a while, had a meal, and as the sky darkened, I sent her back to school. I gave her a light hug and a peck on the forehead at the entrance of her dorm. This time, she didn't shy away, but instead hugged me back and whispered: "Next time... can we go watch a movie?" I smiled and nodded: "Of course, just let me know when you want to see me, and I'll take you." As I watched her walk away, the feeling of being depended on grew stronger. To maintain a stable framework, the job search couldn't be too smooth, making her think that it took effort to solve. To some extent, she would feel grateful and apologetic, and our relationship would become more dominant, becoming a reason to continue meeting up. When you help her look for a part-time job, her brain automatically tags: "This person has a good impression of me / is willing to put in effort for me." The key point is that you can't finish helping her all at once. If you help her find a job in one go, she might feel grateful, but the gratitude will quickly fade away, and might even become "a matter of course." When you know someone has put in effort for something, your brain will automatically convince yourself: "This thing is important" "This person is worth it," and she'll give herself reasons: "I have feelings for him, that's why I'm willing to accept his help." This creates cognitive dissonance, convincing herself that "being with him is comfortable and worth it," thus strengthening her dependence. By not immediately helping her find a part-time job, you're actually creating a sense of scarcity. She'll keep thinking: "When will he have news?" "Will he mention it next time we meet?" This uncertainty makes her more concerned about you and more eager for the next interaction. Slowly, she'll realize that in this relationship, you're providing resources and emotional support, and this imbalance will make her more willing to balance it out with time, intimacy, and initiative.