Davidzhu

I once dated a girlfriend who told me that she hated it when men were petty and calculative. From then on, I became an extremely tolerant boyfriend. Everything was hers, and I paid for all our expenses. She often praised me for being responsible, and I felt satisfied. When she was on her period, I'd go out in the middle of the night to buy her red sugar ginger tea and warm my hands to massage her stomach. When she worked late, I'd go pick her up, even if I had to wake up early the next day. On her birthday, I gritted my teeth and bought her a bag that cost me a month's salary. Her eyes lit up, and she hugged me, saying I was the only one who understood her. I thought that was what love was, just being a responsible man. But later, I discovered that her attitude towards me had changed. She started talking about a cold and distant man, saying how charming he was. I felt uneasy and asked her, "What about me? I've always been good to you, why have you never said I'm charming?" She paused for a moment: "You're just too good, like my dad, reliable but unexciting." In that instant, I realized I had grown too accustomed to her praise and recognition, her dependence on me, and her control over me. I found that I was no longer myself; I was just a supporting character in her life, someone she could order around and control at will. The cold and distant man might have been the same for her - she was used to his hot and cold behavior, his unpredictability, his challenges and tests. Suddenly, I realized I needed to find myself again, redefine our relationship, and reestablish my own value and position. I didn't want to affirm my existence through her recognition and praise but through my own efforts and struggles to prove my worth.