小薯条哭唧唧

The reason why most couples break up is not cheating or quarreling, but "mismatched sexual desires." You want to do it every day, she only wants to do it once a week. You're too tired to do it when she wants to do it. When you want to do it, she says "I don't want to". As time goes by, you begin to wonder: Does she not love me anymore? Is she no longer interested in me? She also began to wonder: Does he only use me as a sex tool? Does he just want my body? Then you start to have cold wars, fights, and finally break up. But the essence of the problem is not "who is right and who is wrong", but: your sexual desire frequency is different. This is normal. Everyone's sex drive is different, some people have a high sex drive (once a day) and some people have a low sex drive (once a month). The problem isn't that your sexual desires don't match, the problem is: you don't know how to fix it. Sexual desire mismatch is not "whose problem", but the comprehensive result of "physiology + psychology + environment". Everyone's sexual desire is determined by hormones. Male sexual desire is driven primarily by testosterone (the male hormone), and female sexual desire is primarily driven by a combination of estrogen and testosterone. Some people are born with high testosterone and high libido. Some people are born with low testosterone and low libido. It's not anyone's fault, it's a biological difference. Life stress can directly affect sexual desire. If you're tired at work, stressed out, and don't get enough sleep, your libido will decrease. If she has recently been preparing for exams, working overtime, or taking care of her family, her sexual desire will also decrease. This isn't "she doesn't love you anymore", it's "she's too tired". Sexual desire and emotional state are closely related. If you have had a quarrel, a cold war, or a tense relationship recently, your sexual desire will decrease. If you have been in a good relationship recently, dated frequently, and have a close relationship, your sexual desire will increase. It’s not “he doesn’t want you anymore,” it’s “he has feelings for you now.” If the quality of your sex life is not high (for example, you always ejaculate quickly, she never climaxes, sex is painful), her sexual desire will decrease. Because she will feel that "making love is boring" and "making love is painful". It's not "she's frigid," it's "she has no expectations for sex." Some people are used to "doing it every day" and some people are used to "doing it once a week." This difference in habits may come from: past sexual experience, frequency of masturbation, and attitudes towards sex. This is not "who is right or wrong", but "different habits". The problem for most couples is not "mismatched sexual desires" but "unafraid to talk about mismatched sexual desires." You dare not say "I want to do it" because you are afraid that she will think that you "just want her body". She doesn't dare to say "I don't want to do it" because she is afraid that you will think she is "frigid". As a result, you are all holding it in, and the problem is getting worse. The right thing to do: Find a relaxing time (not in bed, not after she rejects you) and have a frank chat. You want to do it every day, she wants to do it once a week. Then your "optimal frequency" may be: 2-3 times a week. It’s not about “who compromised,” it’s about “you found the balance.” You can say: "I know you don't want to do it every day, and I understand that. So can we do it 2-3 times a week? That way you won't feel too tired and I won't feel too little." If she doesn't want sex but you do, you can try "non-penetrative sex": she gives you a handjob, she gives you oral sex, you watch movies and masturbate together, you take a shower together, and you touch each other. This way: your sexual desires are satisfied and she doesn't need to "go all out" (since no penetration is required). Regular communication can prevent problems from accumulating. Every once in a while (like a month), you sit down and chat: "What do you think of our sex life lately?", "Is there anything that needs improvement?", "What do you want me to do?" Sex life will become boring after a long time, so you have to take the initiative to create freshness: try new positions, try role-playing, try sex toys, change places (such as hotels, cars). Many girls' sexual desire and emotional state are closely related. If you are nice to her, care about her, and chat with her, her sexual desire will be higher. If you are usually cold towards her and only come to her when you want to have sex, her sexual desire will be even lower. So, don’t just work hard in bed, work hard in life too. Sexual desire and physical health are closely related. If you often stay up late, don't exercise, and eat junk food, your libido will decrease. If she stays up late, is stressed, and doesn't get enough sleep, her libido will also decrease. Therefore, maintain a healthy lifestyle: regular work and rest, moderate exercise, healthy diet, and reduce stress. Sometimes, your sexual desires just don't match up, and that's a reality. You have to accept this reality and don't keep worrying about "why she doesn't want to do it." You can get gratification in other ways (such as masturbation, non-penetrative sex). As long as your relationship is healthy and you love each other, sexual desire mismatch isn't a big deal. While sexual desire mismatches can be resolved through communication and compromise, there are situations where breaking up may be a better option. If the gap between your sexual desires is too big (more than 5 times), or she doesn't want to do it at all, or she refuses to communicate, breaking up may be a better option. But if the gap between your sexual desires is not large (2-5 times), through communication and compromise, you can find a balance.