Desheng Li

Today, I added someone, and without asking, I directly guessed: Is it because of domestic violence? She sent several shocked expressions: How did you know!!!!! I think everyone has their own story, and every story may hide some pain and secrets. Sometimes, we don't need to ask too many questions to guess someone's past. I know a friend who always appears strong and independent, but at times, I catch glimpses of pain in her eyes. One day, I asked her: 'Have you ever experienced something particularly sad in the past?' She was taken aback, then told me that her parents divorced when she was very young, and she's always felt abandoned. I suddenly realized that she's been trying to hide her vulnerability. Everyone has their own pain, and everyone is trying to move forward. Sometimes, we don't need to ask too many questions to guess someone's past. I think that's why I was able to guess that person's experience with domestic violence. Because I've been through similar things myself, I can feel her pain. I think everyone should have more empathy, more understanding, and more tolerance.

As an active user of Soul, I've noticed that the proportion of single moms on this platform is surprisingly higher than on Xiaohongshu and Douyin! I personally think this might be because Soul's user base is more open and genuine. Every time I've dated a girl on Soul, I've curiously asked them why they got divorced. But later on, I stopped asking, because ninety-nine percent of the girls told me the same story: they were all victims of domestic violence. Either by their husbands or their mothers-in-law. It sounds like they were all innocent. I started thinking, why is this the case? Why do so many single moms have similar experiences? Is it a problem with our society and culture, or is it a problem with our family structure? I decided to delve deeper into this issue and learn more about their stories and feelings. Through my investigation and conversations, I found that although the stories of these single moms are all different, they share some common characteristics. Many of them experienced long-term domestic violence and emotional abuse until they finally found the courage to leave. Some were forced to divorce due to tense relationships with their mothers-in-law. Regardless of the reason, all the stories moved me to feel pain and sympathy. I hope that by sharing these stories, more people can understand the lives and feelings of single moms. I also hope that our society can provide them with more support and help. After all, families and marriages should be havens of love and care, not prisons of suffering and torment.

Her cooperation is great, with a huge contrast between her inner and outer self. On the surface, she appears to be a strong and confident woman, capable of handling anything, but deep down, she's still a young girl at heart. I find this incredibly fascinating and charming. She does many things that teenagers in love do, like writing love diaries and taking pictures of our shadows under the streetlights. These actions make me find her extremely adorable, and they remind me of my own youthful days. Even though we're approaching forty, she still retains that innocent and childish love. I'm not sure if it's a good thing for a woman nearing forty to maintain this kind of innocence and childishness in love. Some might see it as immature, but I think it's her unique charm. Her little-girl heart makes our relationship sweeter and more romantic. I love her attitude towards love, her passion for life, and her positivity. Her presence makes me feel like life is more interesting and passionate. Although we have many differences, our love makes me feel extremely happy and fulfilled.

I still remember the day I met a sister in a Douyin hiking group, a divorced single mother with a decent appearance and great conversation skills. We both loved listening to crosstalk, sometimes I'd invite her, and sometimes she'd invite me. Gradually, our conversations expanded from crosstalk to our daily lives, interests, and even our expectations for the future. Later, I was afraid we'd get too deep, and I didn't want to beat around the bush, so I told her I wanted a partner but didn't want to get married. She said the same, that she didn't want to remarry after her divorce, and I thought we'd reached an agreement. We continued to communicate, sharing our lives and feeling each other's warmth. But as time passed, I began to realize the subtlety of this relationship. We both wanted a partner, but we didn't want to get married, and this state of limbo made us feel uncertain. We were both trying to find a balance, satisfying each other's needs without getting too deep. My story with Douyin sister might be a common experience for many people. We're all searching for a connection that satisfies our needs without making us feel trapped. This delicate balance might be the greatest challenge for modern people.

My relationship with her was originally simple and straightforward. We both knew each other's needs and took what we wanted. At least, that's how I saw it - a clean and uncomplicated relationship with minimal conflict and issues. However, she later became too serious, with extremely high emotional needs that put a lot of pressure on me. As a thirty-year-old man, I'm no longer as impulsive and passionate as I was in my youth. My needs are simple - as long as my basic needs are met, I'm fine. However, she keeps trying to get more from me - more care, more companionship, more love. Her emotional needs are like a bottomless pit that can never be filled. I tried to explain my feelings and needs to her, but she just couldn't understand. Her logic was simple: since we're together, we should give and support each other mutually. However, I think this is too idealistic. Everyone has their own needs and limits, and I don't want to be overwhelmed by her emotional needs. I started to feel a lot of pressure, thinking I couldn't meet her needs. Our relationship became increasingly tense, and I began to wonder if we should continue like this. Maybe our relationship just isn't suitable, or maybe we should go our separate ways.

Recently, a couple from Zhejiang has been making headlines for their unconventional pursuit, which deviates from the traditional marital life. They have been posting online ads, seeking a single male to spend romantic nights with. The couple's actions have sparked heated debates online, with some supporting their choice and others opposing it. Some believe it's their personal decision and should be respected, while others think it's a betrayal of marriage and a lack of respect. However, the couple's actions have also prompted people to reflect on marriage and love. Is marriage limited to traditional patterns? Is love confined to a single form? Is their approach a new mode of love? These questions are worth pondering. In modern society, people's values and lifestyles are becoming increasingly diverse. Marital relationships are no longer confined to traditional patterns, and more people are exploring new relationship models. Is this couple's approach a new trend? Only time will tell.